Flipswitch

The mind-chatter today was out of control. For the full first loop of my run - 2.5 miles - I thought of excuse after excuse for why I should bail when I got back to my office door. I spent the first quarter mile fixing my hair. Then I had to re-tie my shoes. Twice. I considered reasons why I should only do half of the planned 5 miles. I justified them all.

And then, just before the 2.5 mile marker, I remembered my new year's agreement that I had with myself. If I wanted to bail halfway through the run, I could, I told myself. In fact, I can bail out any day. But, I can't go back into the office early. If I want to stop running, fine, but I have to spend that same amount of time walking.

Somehow that thought carried me around the corner and a mile down the road. I found my rhythm. I found my focus. The chatter stopped and I started soaring. I forgot to care about my slow pace. I forgot that this was the first time in at least a month that I've run three days in a row. I stopped rationalizing that I could bail because I'd be doing a spin class later. My vision was straight ahead, and I found my pace.

In my yoga classes I often remind my students that yoga is an ancient wisdom tradition that was developed to relieve the suffering of the mind. Suffering comes from mind chatter - narratives that are attached to past pains and future fears, and that implant those ideas on the present moment. We can immerse ourselves in virtually any activity, and the amount of joy or suffering that we experience in the activity is up to us. The more we suffer, the more arduous the task is. That was my first 2.5 miles. But the joy! When the joy settles in, we soar.

The hardest part, then, is figuring out how to flipswitch from suffering to joy. Last October, when I started running I told myself that I did not want to suffer in it. I wanted to enjoy the activity as much as I want to enjoy life, so I found little things along the way to help. Listen to the birds. I reminded myself of that today. Hear the wind in the treetops. Think some more about the book projects I am working out. Find another layer in the experience of The List of 100 Things.

Okay, it worked. I enjoyed the second half of the run quite a lot. And I feel great about completing my first week of training. Tonight I'll do a spin class, and then tomorrow is a rest day. Actually, I'll be out tubing with Darby and the kidlets at some snow covered place outside of Los Angeles. I haven't seen snow in ages - possibly since I moved out here six years ago. What fun!

Sunday is my last 8-miler till February. Next week the miles start increasing.


TODAY'S RUN:
Setting:
January 4, 2013.
Los Angeles, CA.
Mid-afternoon.
Temperature in the mid-60's
Run:
5.2 miles
48:04
average pace: 9:12 per mile